主题：【原创】如何在婚前判断男人的“家暴”倾向 -- 局部地区有阵雨
家园 被吓住了 第一次看完这个，觉得和我一点关系都没有，刚才又看了一次，发现“因为他高度的情绪化，理想化。当他爱你的时候，可以为你做任何事，甚至去死；”和“这种刻骨的爱转化为刻骨的恨不过是一步之遥。爱得越深，恨得也就越深”，自己会不会也有点啊...一直觉得自己在对待别人的问题上有点极端化，非好即坏，也知道这是一个弱点，想改正，可是成效不大，最多能做到不喜欢的人不打多少交道，明面上过得去，但内心里还是不会对那个人有好感的。对于自己所喜欢的人，会不会发生极端性的变化呐？我不知道...只是有时候，如果感到她对我冷冰冰的，心里会很失望，觉得自己感情的投入蛮可笑的，会暗暗下决心不玩了，可这种决心最终都会以失败告终，自己还是会傻乎乎的继续追逐。说实话我倒真有点害怕过于投入感情，到时候会因爱生恨。不过我真倒没想过“家暴”的事情，一直觉得在家里打自己老婆的男人是很窝囊的，我们家有句话说这种人，叫“家里皇帝，外头鼻涕”
家园 哦也～～～～～以后脑门儿上贴个标签儿～～ “无家暴倾向”
hahahaha，咱这不浪漫的倔巴头，看来还有这等好处～～
可以这么求婚了
“嫁给我吧，我不浪漫又不听话，可是咱不打老婆啊～～”
本帖一共被 1 帖 引用 (帖内工具实现)家园 这样的这样的男人最男人最可怕 首先，“浪漫派”是“家暴”的第一高危人群。其中又分为两类，一类是“内在”的浪漫，就是骨子里浪漫的男人，他的浪漫是发自内心的，随时随地的。这样的男人最可怕，因为他高度的情绪化，理想化。当他爱你的时候，可以为你做任何事，甚至去死；但结婚后，一旦对你的感情生变，或发现你本人并不是他幻想中的那样完美，这种刻骨的爱转化为刻骨的恨不过是一步之遥。爱得越深，恨得也就越深。That won't wait so long till marriage. 家暴 normally has family history. It is better to check his/her family, see how his/her parents get along. If not good, don't sign contract with such a guy/girl. Another issue is related to personality. This kind of family abuse happens more often with those people who have abnormal personality, such as ignore others feeling, over-aggressive. I saw a couple of such family violence cases. It is nothing to do with romantic. It appears to me communication is the problem between them.
家园 del - 复 del
家园 你有权拿起武器 Family violence is sort of tricky. The better thing for one to do is to find a good spouse, instead of fighting for the fair against the spouse with performances in marriage.
Moreover, any fight within the marriage could lead to charge of family violence, which brings big trouble for the male and severely affects his career. Even if it won't bring those legal troubles, endless fighting could be energy comsuming. It is almost hopeless and cannot be cured because family violence is personality related. Reshaping one personality is almost impossible.
So, it would be good if one can open eyes before signing that contract: Check a. whether he/she can get along with his/her parents; b. whehter he/she can fairly treat his/her colleagues; c. whether he/she can appreciate other's favour; d. whether he/she can well treat and get along with kids; e. whether he/she has correct attitude about his/her job;
，唉，觉得自己蛮没有志气的
。以前处理这类事情那叫一个干脆利落，现在落魄如此，唉
。我这样算退让不？