主题：恋爱中如何识别和摆脱loser，男女都适用 -- coo
家园 我的理解 爱是永恒的，无限的....我过于苛求自己和别人了
Love is kind of some biology and chemical change in the enviroment... So in my opinion, having a long sex relationship is allowed, I just approving myself to follow it.
I feel sad....
I hate liability and debt. Old lover is just sort of thing like old taxpay bill ... store it for three to seven years , then in the tush bin...
Ok, I get it . thanks
- 复 毁灭性的恋爱关系
家园 个人案例 我就失败了，我要报复，我要把她抢回来，再抛弃，再去救活她
你们有意见吗？
- 复 毁灭性的恋爱关系
家园 woman was killed/face damage I guess that happened in China, most likely in northern China. The situation in States is entirely different. Here family violence is strictly forbidden and the husband could be thrown into jail, or prevent from going home if the wife makes such a request. Shouting or yelling is considered a kind of violence. Many Chinese males have such troubles when they have a family fight against their wives...
So for Chinese males, they really have to open their eyes widely when they are choosing females as their wives.
家园 YES, in CN Both should be very careful when looking for "the other half", "due care" at the beginning, then, 始不乱，终不弃， 慎始慎终，方为圆满。LIFE is not easy, so is love...
家园 In reality, it becomes In reality, the situation is by far complicated, particularity to oversea Chinese. Cohabitation is more a proper word to describe the love affairs. It might be more than love that results in cohabitation. That is life, established by the facts around. Obviously let those people know how to manage relationship is quite necessary.
家园 现实中 矛盾越来越尖锐，已经走出国门。
人一定要清楚自己想要什么才能去开始一段爱情
家园 the way others are treated now, is how you will be treated (maybe)3/5/7/10 years later, just a matter of time...
no love is permanent, since no woman could be permanent beautiful, and forever pretend to be weak, and shut up or stop thoughts and to be herself for too long...
if not rich or free enough, don't gamble on LOVE, it's too heavy and may not be the price you are able to pay. try to stay awake and open-eye/mind as often and long as u can, to minimize possible loss in case...
good friend first, then possible lover, is a right investment decision way... hehe, kidding...
take care...
家园 翻译 你该怎么对待他/她，特别是3，5，7年以后呢
没有爱是永恒的，没有女人可以终身美丽，假装弱势是不能长久的
如果没有经济基础，不要尝试爱情，太沉重，一般人无法承受，
永远清醒的去考虑问题，友谊比爱情保鲜
家园 其实么，这个是做人的底线问题 很多人吃不起亏，就走极端，同归与尽。其实到底恋爱该怎么谈，婚姻该是怎么样的，大家都木个准，都是摸着石头过河。你说的对，所以，最后是个成本问题。女人的成本贬值的比男人的看起来要快一些。
家园 吃亏? so surprised by the "word/definition"...
when u love someone, it's so happy to be able to do s.th to make her/him happy, no complain at all...
love is not a trade, (like marriage), there always be sunshine when u are in love, the whole life becomes new and meaningful because of another one, and a new world come to u due to the relationship... could there be any accounting measurement for love?
it's said: u become a fool when in love, why? because no calculation, no rationality, like not in reality anymore... like a dream...
so at least, the love already is not true and pure, or one of them has personality or characteristics issue, and then the TRADE starts to be measured, and then LOSS or benefit becomes issue/concern for some one, meaning it's time for one of them to WITHDRAW ASAP, not the right candidate for partner, time to change.
Well, maybe i am too idealistic, just for discussion.
Love is Beautiful, and really makes life happy and meaningful... Though might also deep hurt sometimes, it deserves when u meet someone that deserves ur love, good to experience then totally innocent--personal opinion... :-)
good relationship should never lead to death, unless one met Mr. Wrong...
Thanks for the post, and the discussion, :-), have a nice weekend!
- 复 吃亏?
家园 fanyi 爱情不是要求，而是给予
爱是无私的，在爱的时候，心是开朗的
爱情会让人变傻
现在爱情已经不再单纯和真实，爱情观被提出来了。
对待成为了问题
这样的爱，不是爱情
爱情是浪漫的，是理想化的，让人快乐的
PS:因为太酸了，翻译到一半，我就哭了...
- 复 fanyi
家园 Thank you for translation,:) Quote: "PS:因为太酸了，翻译到一半，我就哭了...
"
I am sorry for being 太酸, and make u have to find icecream to cure...
Thank you for helping to translate the posts. My computer doesn't have Chinese input system, and also, it's really time-consuming for me to type CN for I am not so good at Pingying,
.Have a nice day, :-).
家园 hehe Understanding
或许这就是爱
看到热门主题后，还是觉得单身比较好
- 复 fanyi
家园 一点感谢和补充--关于前世今生 对于“吃亏“这个用词，稍有吃惊。
当一个人在真爱中时，为对方做的每件事，都是无怨无悔的全心的付出--风雨无阻，只要对方开心，就是你最大的快乐，TA的笑容是你最好的犒劳，咋么会去计较付出的多少，或谁爱谁更多呢？所以总有恋人讨论：爱与被爱，谁更幸运？ 被爱一定是幸福的吗？
（付出的一定是失败的吗？各人有各人前世修来的福气，强求不得，也逃脱不了，是为：百年修得同船渡，前年修得共枕眠。一世的夫妻或相遇，是前世百年千年修来得呀。。。茫茫人海，相识相知，是几率多么小，多难得的机缘呀，所以，总劝年轻人要惜缘，人一辈子多少无常，谁知道明天会怎样呢--珍惜当下，把握现在吧，莫把岁月蹉跎，姻缘失之交臂了，也就无悔啦。）
爱情不是交易（婚姻有时可能反而有时是有一定目的性的，或要考虑很多现实因素，感情的发生是失控的，有时可能当事人自己也没意识到，有设么道理好讲呢。恋爱时，好像全世界阳光普照，生活全新而又充满意义和希望，好似开天辟地一个新世界，只因为某个人出现在你的生命中。。。有设么尺子可以去衡量爱情的深度吗？
有人说：当一个人恋爱时，TA会变得像个傻瓜，会毫无保留心甘情愿风雨无阻的付出，会因为对方的喜而喜乐，悲而悲，好似感同身受，没有算计，没有理性，好像做梦一般，云里雾里。。。然而，这，就是爱情。。。。。。所以，有人说现代社会最奢侈最昂贵最HARD TO AFFORD的，就是爱情/感情--真的伤心又伤身，劳命伤财，却还是有怨侣前赴后继，只有一声叹息--谁也拗不过命呀。。。只有时间，可能会慢慢消磨和改变一切。。。
所以，当一个人试图衡量TA在感情中的付出，并开始计较时，那感情已经不纯净，有杂质了，或者，并非真爱了。一方或双方可以考虑后退，另外寻找新的人生伴侣了。
爱情是美丽的，让生活增添了意义，虽然偶尔也会受伤，然而当你遇到一个值得你相知相守的伴侣时，会发现它的无价和珍贵。惜缘吧。。。
感谢您的讨论和指教，祝 愉快。
家园 对于“吃亏“这个用词，稍有吃惊。 其实我也不爱用这个词语，但是如果做个调查，问１００人，一场完全投入的恋爱失败，被对方拒了，应当有７０％的人人回用吃亏这个词语。所以这些说法，我是基于现实的用词。也许对一个情豆初开的女孩子，想念她的他的每一分钟都是甜蜜，无价的。
说到现实中的爱情，其实是充满了条件和攀比。所以，吃亏占便宜对大部分人该是使用的。
再说爱情固然是无价的，但是维持爱情是有价钱的。现实生活中的爱情都离不开物质基础，谁让人是物质组成的呢？
这里的物质价钱都不是讨论的中心。这个专题的中心思想是，怎么保护自己，防止以爱名义带来的伤害。或者说，对爱的作出奉献的底线。特别是对初涉爱河的少男少女们。