主题：【新年献礼】E舅公的故事：你们不让我当老大很久了 -- wqnsihs
家园 忙总完全不了解美国人 我只能说，忙总根本不了解美国人的平等观念，看起来也不屑于去了解。
他们见到所谓的皇族，贵族，权门，都会不自觉的下跪（至少是心理上下跪），典型的以己之心度人之腹。中国人是屈膝下跪，美国人最多是弯弯脚趾头。然后中国人说，嘿，我们都一样，五十步和百步的区别而已。太荒诞了。我无法说服你，因为你没有见过诚实正直自尊自强从容自信的美国普通老百姓，这样的人不是一个两个，是普遍的存在。多说也无益。只是看忙总这样的人骨子里都充满了等级观念，我不相信中国官僚阶层会改良。
家园 学以致用，求同存异，只吸收对自己有用的，没必要那么在意忙 总观念是什么，能看进去，也要能跳出来吗：）
家园 美国老百姓主要是“不怕” 美国老百姓也会羡慕和仰视有钱有权势的人，也会撒谎，也会屈服，也会谄媚——但是他们不像中国穷人这么“怕”权贵，也不会把明显的自辱作为一种生存手段。
美国拥枪较为容易，这是一个总统都可以被击毙的国家，再权贵也不敢太猖狂，表面上的礼貌还都是比较注意的。
关键词(Tags): #美国，家园 如果中国拥枪合法，权贵们会比美国的还低调
家园 唉，我觉得忙总在这点上有点过于实用主义了。 就像AI中的爬山算法，由自己的初始状态出发，每步选择获得最优临近目标的动作，导致很可能陷入局部最优点，也就是全局认识不足。改变一下，采用“模拟退火”，而不是没有绝对的理由就不后退，很多情况下是会有更优的结果的，虽然效率差点。
当然，忙总肯定是凭身证道的人，不会空口无凭。但是，我想，人人平等，“人皆可以成尧舜”，应该属于信仰之列。在这点上，没理由不支持老兄。
家园 诚实正直自尊自强从容自信的美国人多，笑话！ 我在美国十几年，诚实正直自尊自强从容自信的美国人，哪有那么多？更多的，是狂妄自大（美国人老子天下第一的想法很深），自以为是，－－这大概就是你误以为的“诚实正直自尊自强从容自信”了。其实，这是一个硬币的两面，越是狂妄自大的人，在强权面前跪的越厉害。 只不过许多美国人大多数情况下都自认为是强权的化身，真正的强权在美国又是很低调的（这是他们聪明的地方），所以你不大看到一般美国人的丑态。
真正的自信，是建立在自知的基础上。 曾经有调查显示，80% 以上的美国成年人，都认为自己将来一定会成为百万富翁－－尽管我对此早有感性认识，看到这个数字还是吓了一跳。美国人的所谓“自信”，是建立在对美国梦的迷信以及对自己盲目信心爆棚一定能实现美国梦的基础上。
家园 如果 你没遇到过在心理上下跪的美国人——只能说明你接触的美国人不够多——特别是在某些关键位置上。
美国是一个纺锤形的社会——中间大，两头小，所以，绝大部分人只能看到绝大部分美国人，某些地方看不到——其实也不奇怪。
家园 Mang zong is quite right ... Speaking about the so called the nobles of USA, I remembered my tour of Biltmore a few years ago, and all that I saw and heard over there, as well as my thoughts about the Vanderbilts then and now.
Even in a wealthy and prosperious country like the US, very few families would surpass the Vanderbilts -- the railroads, the steel mills, the university, and even the national Bridge tournament (ACBL Championship team matches) Vanderbilt Cup.
And fortunately, we have the Biltmore House to visit, and we are able to see what it's like at the full bloom of the Gilded Age. (Usually the so called old money lives quite seclusively, for example, the many fine estates in Hudson Vally are not for the "little people" such as you and me to see).
From what I saw in Ashville that giant house of the Vanderbilts, the impression I have is not quite as Mang zong said about the nobles, none of the confidence, none of the peace of mind from deep self awareness. Rather, I saw a family of entrenched loneliness and insecure and uncertain of who they are and what they want.
They sure have things of antiquity -- the rugs of midieval castles, the chess that once owned and played by Napoloen, so on and so forth. And they have spare no cost of construct a nest of creature comfort -- the state of the art kitchen and full restaurant scale meals preparing and serving system, the full spectrum of indoor exercise and sports facility that you can dream of, including a full size in door swimming pool in the basement.
However, the pictures of the family of three -- Dad, Mom, and the later famous little Gloria, situated in the almost Cathedral sized living room, tells a story of gloomy lonesomeness. The very idea of building the largest family house in the country, according to certain rumor, is the wife of Mr. Vanderbilt (well, the son of the original capitalist who made the Vanderbilt fortune and estate) cannot bear to live under the same roof of her mother in law. And there lives only the three of them in this giant house, surrounded by hundreds of servents. And inside this castle, Mr and Mrs Vanderbilt each has his or her tower and a full set of suites of master bedroom and living rooms, and the two suites are quite apart form each other.
The loneliness of the family is more evident as I tour the quarters for the so called "family friends" -- they have full size bed rooms and living areas for each and every single one of the several dozen "friends" they invite to stay with them over the year, especially at the holiday times, on days like Thanksgiving. The "friends" are so well taken care of that when they go exercise or playing sports games, each of them have their individual locker rooms right beside the sports area of the house. Quite a few of the famous painters, writers at the time are among the "friends" that frequent the estate. We still can see the fairly impressive painting and frescos on basement walls by these friends on topics like Halloween and other things.
The urge of getting dozens and dozens of "friends" that money can buy, IMHO, greatly maginified the loneliness the family experienced, that even casual visitors like us can very easily see after 60, 70 years.
家园 一个没落的家族 人丁稀薄，风光不再，曾经的荣华不过是今日寂寞的背景。
和全盛时的风流不可同日而语。
家园 你再去长岛的Vanderbilts博物馆看看， 感受可能会不同
家园 Vanderbilts的名声可以跟卡耐基洛克菲勒摩根比 不必说博物馆，即使是Biltmore老宅里面，古董文物就非常可观了。这些镀金时代的大佬家底之厚，颇令人叹为观止。有形的LEGACY之外，Vanderbilts University是田纳西的整个州里高等教育的领头羊，喜欢打桥牌的也都因为全国锦标赛而记住这个家族。
但是这些就如古典时代的巴比仑花园，埃及法老的巨石坐像，随着时光流逝变成往昔荣华富贵的影子。
具体到V家的一个个活人，我在老宅见到的场面很令人感慨：无与伦比的豪奢与排场，遮不住孤寂，补不上温情。这个与忙总所提到的书香门第世代人才辈出枝繁叶茂的生命力，有很强的对比。
当然，这宅里孤独的小丫头格洛莉娅，后来变成其母与姑妈争夺家财的战场，其人其事变成了当年风靡全国的肥皂剧。而小丫头本人倒也是过得颇有声有色：跟过马戏班子，做过N流演艺界艺员，嫁给了N个五光十色的男人又离开他们，活到80，90仍然硬朗而能折腾。Anderson Cooper是她的grandson，也出了一定的名，是我所比较喜欢的媒体人。可是Gloria的儿子，Anderson的老爸Carter就悲剧了--他从十四层楼的顶层跳下而离世。
。。。
最近听新闻里说起，这一届的国会里，肯尼迪家族终于随着TED过世，BOBBY儿子落选，再没一个现职议员了。想当年JACKIE初进白宫，一边帮着老公JFK营造青春偶像，一边梦想着打造美国皇族的迷梦--所谓的CAMELOT说法，据说是JACKIE本人伙同媒体生生做出来的。曾几何时，JFK饮弹，RFK也被干掉，JACKIE居然改嫁希腊船王那等土财主。呵呵，所谓美国的贵族，大致如此吧。
家园 Anderson Cooper是gay吧？ 听说是。